The Spirit Moves In Wondrous Ways

While visiting with a 97 year old hospice patient, I was gifted with a bit of wisdom that she said was passed on to her by her mother, something she learned as a child in the 1930’s: ”When faced with a new situation, a trial, a decision needing to be made, mom always used to say, ‘Well, let’s sit and have a cup of coffee and talk about it, the answer will come when it’s ready.’” Does this depression-era thinking still have a place in our fast-paced, you snooze you lose, Google it, text an emoji world we live in today? Just sitting and having a conversation, taking time for the coffee to cool, or the tea to steep, together with another human being to just “talk about it” … what a wonderful reminder about what’s really important – relationship.

As iron sharpens iron,
    so one person sharpens another.

Proverbs 27:17

I’m aware that I have my faults, and one of them is impatience. So of course, when I first heard this I quickly jumped to thinking it’s an excuse to procrastinate and the moral of the story is a lesson in patience; taking time and learning to not rush to quick decisions. But after having a cup of coffee and thinking about it, then mulling it over with some friends, I came to realize that it was about much more: it’s about spending quality time nurturing relationships with those people important in our lives, the family and friends with whom we have shared moments of joy, pain, sorrow and love.  Drawing them in and keeping them close makes one realize that living is less about doing and more about being. The doing still happens, decisions are made, accomplishments achieved but the real treasure is in the time spent with those that matter most to us.

… let’s sit and have a cup of coffee and talk about it, the answer will come when it’s ready.

As I sat with her bedside I realized at some point she had taken my hand and was now looking out the window admiring a nearby tree and telling me how she enjoys seeing the birds moving about within it. Simple joys right before our eyes if we take the time to see. It then struck me that relationships transcend time. Here was a 97 year old woman remembering her mother, a relationship from the past still very much alive in the present. Two people sitting together sharing a moment, not doing, just being. When we finished our visit, the patient thanked me for my time, yet I knew that I was the one richer for it.

Reflection questions:

1.) For you, does this “sit and have a cup of coffee and talk about it” approach have a place in the fast-paced world we live in today?

2.) Is waiting for “the answer to come when it’s ready” a luxury or a necessity?

3.) Who are those folks with whom you have shared moments of joy, pain, sorrow and love and what are you doing to bring them/keep them close?

4.) Doing vs. being; are they necessarily at odds with one another, complementary, or something else?